Nutty Games

I recently came across this diary entry from 2010 and wanted to share:

Yesterday on my lunch break I was at Rite Aid to buy some boring things like shampoo.

Cashier: “Do you have the Rite Aid Game of Life™ gameboard yet?”
Me: “No.”
Cashier: “Would you like a Game of Life™ gameboard?”
Me: “No, thank you.”
Cashier: “Would you like the game pieces anyway, in case you decide to get the Game of Life™ gameboard later?”
Me: (Polite, but firm).  “No, thank you.”
Cashier: “I’m just gonna go ahead and throw these game pieces in your bag and then you can use them later if you want!”

That night I’m emptying the bag o’ personal care items and see two game pieces.  Each has a coupon inside.
I open the first one: 50 cents off jar of Rite Aid peanuts.
I open the second one: 75 cents off Fiddle Faddle (the snack food with peanuts in it).

I, of course, have a deadly peanut allergy. I think they’ve been waiting for their chance to git me ever since I transferred our prescriptions elsewhere.  They know I rarely resist a bargain and they’re trying to tempt me into a deadly snackfest! The humanity! The humanity!!!!!!!!!