I haven’t read a full instructional pamphlet that comes with medication in a long time. I recently filled a new prescription so I thought, hey, I should read thru it, I’d like to know what to look out for.
The pamphlet listed the following serious side effects that may occur:
- spontaneous nose-hair combustion
- overwhelming urge to read all of James Patterson’s novels
- drinking from the toilet
- intermittent inability to say words beginning with “M”
- singing in Esperanto while asleep
- restless eyebrow syndrome
- ferret collecting
- winking at authority figures
- sudden softening of teeth
- line dancing
- speaking only in haiku
- the emission of wet-dog smell
I’d be a lot more concerned if I wasn’t already dealing with several of these in my day to day life. The irony is, I’m taking the medicine to help my RES (restless eyebrow syndrome)! Go figure!