fine print

I haven’t read a full instructional pamphlet that comes with medication in a long time. I recently filled a new prescription so I thought, hey, I should read thru it, I’d like to know what to look out for.

The pamphlet listed the following serious side effects that may occur:

  • spontaneous nose-hair combustion
  • overwhelming urge to read all of James Patterson’s novels
  • drinking from the toilet
  • intermittent inability to say words beginning with “M”
  • singing in Esperanto while asleep
  • restless eyebrow syndrome
  • ferret collecting
  • winking at authority figures
  • sudden softening of teeth
  • line dancing
  • speaking only in haiku
  • the emission of wet-dog smell

I’d be a lot more concerned if I wasn’t already dealing with several of these in my day to day life. The irony is, I’m taking the medicine to help my RES (restless eyebrow syndrome)! Go figure!

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