Always they show the bedraggled hero continue to fight, long past logic, though the odds of success are so small. She may sound her war whoop and run toward danger, or she may have a twinkle in her eye as her fingers fly, decoding the seemingly un-decodable. Her spirit is undaunted.

“No!” I will shout, looking about for something to thump. “That’s not how it is!”

They won’t show her turning away, overshadowed by fear and reeking of doubt. Falling to her knees then listing impossibly slowly until she is on her side, motionless. She lies pinned to the curb like another forgotten specimen stabbed through the thorax.

This is the show I never see. Maybe they can’t make that show. Maybe we cannot watch it.


“…And no one talks about when one might stop and need to rest
Or how long you sit alone before you stop looking back 
It’s like you’re waiting for Godot 
And then you pick your sorry ass up off the street and go . . .
And what the hell is this? Who made this bloody mess? 
And someone always answers like a martyr 
Is it something you should know, did you never do your best 
Would you be saved if you were brave and just tried harder?”


If I Were Brave, by Shawn Colvin

Toodle Like an Egyptian

The kiddo has a new habit that is hilarious when she does it to my husband, and slightly less amusing when she does it to me, although still pretty funny.  She will ask a question, and when you start to answer she begins playing a tune on her recorder full force and cannot hear your answer.  It’s almost like, she wants to register the fact that she has a question – so, basically, “Don’t go anywhere b/c I need your input on something” – but the urge to blast away on the recorder is too overpowering, so we are expected to press pause and wait until she’s done playing and then remember what her question actually was, once the buzzing noise in our skulls settles down.

She has also deemed her current recorder style to be “Egyptian.”  It does sound quite exotic, kind of reminds me of perhaps Israeli singing or some kind of trilling or ululating vocal style.  So it’s been her “Egyptian style” of recorder, at top volume, that she starts booming in your ear just after asking you a question.

workout mix

I’d had a lot of the same workout music since my mixed tape days.  Thanks to some browsing in iTunes and suggestions from pals, I’ve built a very enjoyable workout mix for the gym, listed below.  I also got rid of some I kept skipping past b/c they were too slow, like Karma Chameleon, Nookie, some INXS, & Tainted Love.

What are your staple workout songs?

The List:

  1. Abbey Sawyer Memorial Highway – Say Zuzu
  2. All the Small Things – Blink-182
  3. American Cowboy – Jada
  4. American idiot – Green Day
  5. Ana Ng  – TMBG
  6. Any Way You Want It – Journey
  7. Are You Out There – Dar Williams
  8. Awesome – Veruca Salt
  9. Awful – Hole
  10. Bad Reputation – Joan Jett
  11. Barrel of a Gun – Guster
  12. Basket Case – Green Day
  13. Beat It – Fall Out Boy
  14. Believe – Cher
  15. Blue Monday – New Order
  16. Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Deep Blue Something
  17. Buddy Holly – Weezer
  18. Bulldog – Tracy Bonham
  19. Bullet With Butterfly Wings – Smashing Pumpkins
  20. Check Yes Juliet – We the Kings
  21. Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol
  22. Desire – U2
  23. Do you Wanna Dance? – The Ramones
  24. Don’t Lets Start – TMBG
  25. Don’t Make Me Prove It – Veruca Salt
  26. Don’t Stop – Foster the People
  27. Eminus Sleepus – Green Day
  28. End of the World – Great Big Sea
  29. Even flow – Pearl Jam
  30. Everlong – Foo Fighters
  31. Everybody Dance Now – C+C Music Factory
  32. Everything Counts – Depeche Mode
  33. First Date – Blink-182
  34. Freaks Dwell – Echo & the Bunnymen
  35. Gone, Gone, Gone – Robert Plant and Alison Kraus
  36. Great DJ – the Ting Tings
  37. Greatest American Hero tv theme song
  38. Hard for the $ – Donna Summer
  39. Heartbreaker’s Alibi – Rhonda Vincent & Dolly Parton
  40. Hell – Squirrel nut zippers
  41. Here and Now – Letters to Cleo
  42. Hey Mr DJ – TMBG
  43. Hey Ya – OutKast
  44. Just Can’t Get Enough – Depeche Mode
  45. La Vida Loca – Ricky Martin
  46. Let the Idiot Speak – Old 97s
  47. Little Less Conversation – Elvis
  48. Long Road to Ruin – Foo Fighters
  49. Longview – Green Day
  50. Navy Bean – Tracy Bonham
  51. Nightgown of the Sullen Moon – TMBG
  52. Nothing at All – Wired All Wrong
  53. Nowhere to Run – The Commitments
  54. NY City – TMBG
  55. I Am A Paleontologist – TMBG
  56. Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode
  57. Pinball Wizard – Tommy soundtrack
  58. Reject – Green Day
  59. Rent – Rent soundtrack
  60. Rock This Town – Stray Cats
  61. Run, Lola, Run soundtrack
  62. Seether – Veruca Salt
  63. Slow Dog – Belly
  64. Smells like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
  65. Smooth Criminal – Obscure
  66. So Much for the Afterglow – Everclear
  67. St Jimmy – Green Day
  68. Take on Me – A-Ha
  69. The Boys of Summer – The Ataris
  70. The Middle – Jimmy Eat World
  71. The One – Tracy Bonham
  72. The Remedy – Jason Mraz
  73. The Right Time – Hewitt Huntwork
  74. These Days – Brandi Carlile
  75. Time to Pretend – MGMT
  76. Turning Japanese – The Vapors
  77. Uptight – Green Day
  78. Vertigo – U2
  79. Violet – Hole
  80. Wanna be Sedated – The Ramones
  81. We Didn’t Start the Fire – Billy Joel
  82. Welcome to Paradise – Green Day
  83. What’s My Age Again? – Blink-182
  84. Wheels on fire – Siouxie and the Banshees
  85. Where You Get Love – Matthew Sweet
  86. Whip It – Devo
  87. With David Bowie – Veruca Salt
  88. Yer So Bad – Tom Petty

Sonic Cravings

I don’t often get food cravings. But I frequently get very specific music cravings.  I am compelled to listen to a certain song for, say, two days straight and then it runs it course.

This past week I had to listen to Green Day’s “Basket Case” pretty much nonstop at work.  Over the last couple of days the craving shifted to a couple of the songs from the original “Hair” soundtrack (“Ain’t Got No” and “White Boys“).  I haven’t heard the soundtrack in about 8 years and had to buy the songs from Itunes.

Is this usual?   It is not restricted by genre – it may be a Mozart aria, an alternative college radio type song from the 90’s, a showtune, a country ballad – it’s all over the place.  I was exposed to a huge array of music as a kid and I music is very much like scent for me – strongly transports you to another place, another state of mind.

Nothing against tasty treats, as my hip girth will attest, but I haven’t met a cheesecake yet that does that.